Happy Beerday to ME!!!

thanks to all those who greeted me on this special day of my life.nah!

ENVY

Sometimes I just cry with no particular reason.

Or maybe I just get envy by the fact that other people are happy and I am not. Other people are busy laughing and I am not doing the same thing. I love being alone. I love just talking to myself.

That is the main reason I love the Internet. It gives me the opportunity to just enjoy myself. And write also of course.

I used to open friendster profiles of my friends. Sometimes they are also my crushes. I just browse their pictures. Those pictures where they smile. But not all pictures show them alone. Some are picture where they're with somebody else. I don't know how to react but there is a certain kind of feeling I get envy. It hurts me sometimes.

The worse is sometimes, I imagined being with them taking pictures with them. Would they smile also? I don't know.

UNSAID

UNSAID
Lala and Christian Bautista

here i am on my own...
trying hard to let go
wish i could say goodbye
to a love i tried hard to deny...

no... i can't run from the past
i'm holding on...
to a dream that won't last...

truly forever my love is just for you
and now you belong to someone new
dreaming that someday i'd share my life with you
i'm hoping you'd feel the same way too

if only i could turn back time
to the place where i first saw your sweet smile

'coz there in your eyes
i saw something true
and i just can't erase...
this memories of you

truly forever my love is just for you
this heart was never meant for someone new...
dreaming that someday i'd share my life with you
i'm hoping you'd feel the same way too...

and oh my love..... is just for you.....
do you feel it too (do you feel it too)

truly forever... (truly forever)
my baby forever only for you... (only for you)
but now it's too late (but now it's too late)
time did not wait... (time did not wait)
maybe it's better left unsaid... ( it's better left unsaid)

i wish that you...
somehow knew...
that deep inside...
i feel the same way too...

Never Be Replaced

I made this for her, my EX.

Where AMAZING happens: PACQUIAO

This is the second video I made inspired out of the WHERE AMAZING HAPPENS campaign of the NBA. The theme for this video is the recent victory of Manny Pacquiao over Juan Manuel Marquez of Mexico in their rematch dubbed as UNFINISHED BUSINESS.

ENJOY watching the video and feel free to comment.

Where AMAZING happens: LOVE

First of many videos I will create using the WHERE AMAZING HAPPENS campaign of the NBA. The theme of this video is LOVE. Feel free to comment. Enjoy. The song is "EVERYDAY" by CarlyComando.

My girlfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago for a reason she said she's missing being independent so I guess that was my fault. We've been together for about a year and a half already so these days are really the hardest days of my life. We're still in touch with one another but the mentality of not having her, of not being attached to her anymore is really a pain in my heart. She's not there anymore when I woke up. Her attitudes toward me is constantly changing and I hate the fact that my mind is telling me of different things about her, haunting me every minute and every hour of my life.

Call me bitter, but that is what I really feel. I'm thinking that everything is broken in my life right now. Without her, my life has been very difficult to live and I know this is not the same me that I used to know before. I don't know what she feels right now but I guess she still needs time to think of this. I know for that one year and a half that we've spent, there is something I guess I've left her. Memories, everything, I know she's undecided.

I've never given her silence since we broke up. I've been texting her every time I can. I'm pleading for her reconsideration. I'm paranoid, maybe. I promised her I would do everything for her just to get back into my life but all I have are pain I get from investigating everything happening these days. I'm getting answers but it hasn't helped me a lot. It only kills me every time I think of the fact she's out with somebody else and that she doesn't even care of how I feel
these days.

I reminisce everyday of those memories we've had before and it prolongs the agony to myself. I kept thinking the songs we used to sing, the things we used to do together, the joys, all the laughters and even the saddest days we've had only for me to remember her and prove to myself I still love her. Every time I do think of those things, it just left me shedding tears for myself and for the time we've spent.

I didn't want this to stop until I came up with a plan for everything of this to cease. and that is - for me to commit suicide. *JOKE*

the real thing is that I want to enjoy every moment first that I could still be with her or grab her by my side. I know I still can do that. Maybe she'll realize in that way that I'm worth keeping and the relationship is worth trying. But that is not my real objective. The real objective for this agenda is for me to set her free, for me to sweetly set her free. That could be about a week from now.

It would not mean I'm giving her up or I'm surrendering but it would mean that I'm ready to face my tomorrow. I guess that would be the time she would be happy even if it would be the hardest decision of my life.

Without a doubt, I love her. I may have never been the most honest person in this world but I truthfully love her. She was my life. She was everything to me. For now, she would be my sweetest downfall.

I'm not hoping she would read this but I want to leave a memory of her in this.